How not to make a birthday cake

1. Do not make the birthday cake with eight 7 year olds, two 8 year olds and one 2 year old in the house and only one adult.

2. Do not make the birthday cake WITH the above and think you are clever by making two cakes.

3. Do not try and turn cakes out of moulds when cakes are just out of the oven and you realise at the same moment that the cake tins weren't buttered.

4. Do panic when each cake splits into three.

5. Do not assume that icing will fix everything.

6. Do not ice cake when hot.

7. Do not then throw on extra pink icing on to hot cake in hope that this will somehow fix things.

8. Do not be upset when there is only one candle will stand up.

9. Do not be upset that not one child wants a slice.